Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Twisted Spoke’s 2010 New Years wishes for the peloton

Twisted Spoke, an excellent blog only recently painted by the Pappillon Radar, has agreed to an information sharing system between our sites. For this we're thankful, even if the first wish (obviously belonging to someone on Team Shack) in Twisted Spoke’s 2010 New Years wishes for the peloton will result in the phrase Vino4-EVER coming to refer only to the length of homeboy's ban. Shiiiiit. Our own Joe Papp fairs quite well, and for that we here at Pappillon are thankful and hope that TS's wish for JP is realized. With no further delays, here is the list.

Alexander Vinokourov. That Vino is caught once again and forever banished.

Bradley Wiggins. That the talented rider learns massive infusions of SKY cash will land him outside the top 10 in the TDF. Sometimes loyalty matters.

George Hincapie. The one of the nicest, stand-up and loyal guys in the peloton gets a win in his beloved Paris Roubaix or the Tour of Flanders.

Typer Farrar. That the battling buddhist teaches Mark Cavendish the meaning of humility by kicking his arse a few times.

Alberto Contador. We wish him a productive 2010 season but also the growing wisdom that there is no I in team. And good luck with the Kazaks — they don’t speak a word of Spanish.

Lance Armstrong. Lance always has our utmost respect. His 3rd in the tour last year was as impressive as any of his wins. Our wish for Lance: a mountain stage win in the tour, beating the young Contador and earning a few days in yellow. P.S. ease up on the tweets.

Jens Voigt. A true soldier and eternally optimist, here’s to Jens winning whatever race he picks out. And get a full face helmet.

Versus & Universal Sports channels. For godsakes, what must we do to get TV coverage of the Giro & Vuelta at a bare minimum? We kneel in prayer that this may change.

Christian Vande Velde. We hold out hope that VV will avoid crashes and tantalize us again in the TDF with a possible podium.

Levi Leipheimer. The first man to welcome Lance back from retirement, we hope he’s ready and in top form when Lance can push himself no harder in the Tour. Levi can win this thing with luck.

Mark Cavendish. That he learns you never have a ghost written autobiography when you’re only 24.

Danilo di Luca. We hope we never hear or see you again. A doper with an inflated and unrepentant ego.

Floyd Landis. May you rediscover the joy to ride at the top level again. The ProTour needs a talented and unique personality like Floyd. France, forgive him.

Joe Parkin. American author of A Dog In A Hat, his hilarious and revealing personal account of racing in Belgian in the 80’s. May your new cycling book be a best-seller.

Alejandro Valverde. Please, go away — for at least two years. You’re as guilty as Di Luca.

The Court of Arbitration for Sport. Find a backbone and no more case postponements.

Nicholai Proskurin of the Kazak Cycling Federation. Shut up.

Cadel Evans. A bold move going to BMC or yet another team with insufficient horsepower to help you back on the podium in the TDF? We’re hoping the first. Enjoy your rainbow.

Andy Schleck. Learn to time trial and make this a real battle with Contador.

Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen. Keep it up guys, don’t go retiring on us just yet.

WADA & UCI. Shake hands, play nice, act like adults.

Inego Cuesta, at age 40, the wise man of the peloton. Enjoy riding your 16th Vuelta. Chapeau.

Jan Ullrich. Just say it, you’ll feel better. Just ask Bjarne Riis.

Robbie McEwen. Rockin’ Robbie is a pain in the arse, the pre-Cav. But he’s irrepressible and an amazing bike handler. Here’s to a solid comeback and at least one grand tour sprint win against the Manxman.

The people behind the CyclePassion calendar. Will you please, please, please invite me to the 2011 photo shoots?


Angelo Zomegnan, Giro promoter. We thought you were a preposterous, egotistical blowhard — but you grew on us. Nobody else understands the importance of spectacle in a grand tour. May you always be surrounded by luscious podium girls.

Tom Danielson. You proved you were back last year. Here’s hoping for 3 uninterrupted weeks of good health in a grand tour and a top five finish.

Joe Papp. A multi-talented and articulate rider whose career imploded with doping. A fresh start, a new dream, somewhere in the cycling world because deep love for a sport deserves another chance.

Jonathan Vaughters, Garmin’s argyle genius. Love the argyle but this year let’s push the fashion envelope. I’m feeling seersucker.

Frank Vandenbroucke. We hope you truly are resting in peace.

Bob Roll. Bobke is the ONLY cycling commentator on air with a sense of humor. Don’t change a thing, Master B.

Carlos Sastre. Another quiet, hard working rider who gets his pick ax and goes down into the mine everyday. We wish you one last hurrah in a grand tour.

Twisted Spoke. Yes, a shameless wish for yours truly. More blog traffic. A paid writing assignment for a major cycling publication. Press credentials for the 2010 Tour de France.

Happy new year. Ride your bike.

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