UPDATE! - Not. Sorry, you don't get one, other than reading my claim to have suffered the greatest indignity of my life this past week. There's no use crying over spilled milk, but we do it anyway, so:
1. If my father were alive, this never would have happened.
2. Even though he is dead and it happened, that the final insult to my injury was seeing my favorite adidas Clima365 tracksuit top - which I'd stalked Dick's Sporting Goods for two months to find in size small - ruined by having LYSOL® Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner with Bleach spilled on it by my mother...I couldn't make this stuff up if I was Jayson Blair.
PS. Anyone with the balls to tell me to "get over it" ... I will ask God to take special care with you: "Da bog da trazio detzoo Gaygerovim broyachem."